A Breath of Fresh Air

You know that moment, when you’re relaxing on the front porch, rocking back and forth in an old wooden rocking chair, sipping on some sweat tea and humming along to some George Strait country, taking in the scenery of the land. The peacefulness of the outdoors just flows through your body. You finally feel relaxed, not burdened by the stress of daily life. That is exactly what it feels like having a conversation with someone else who stutters. It’s a breath of fresh air. It’s relieving. 

For the past couple of years, I’ve been regularly attending a stuttering support group with the National Stuttering Association (NSA), and for one night out of the month, I feel normal. Stuttering is not feared or awkwardly ignored, it’s accepted and even sometimes encouraged by the group. I stutter all the time in the group, and so does everyone else! I feel no pressure to speed up at all or be fluent. In fact it’s quite the opposite, I feel comfortable stuttering. For the first time, I can actually focus on what I’m saying instead of how I’m saying it. A couple of times, I catch myself reverting back to being afraid and not wanting to stutter in the support group, but then I remember that everyone else stutters and it doesn’t really matter. If only I could have that same attitude everywhere I went. 

At first, being a part of the NSA support group scared me. Seeing other people stutter reminded me of the pain and frustration I felt with my own stuttering. I have to admit, it was hard watching other people stutter, fighting so much harder than I did to speak. Everything in me just wanted to help them speak so they didn’t have to. As time went by, I started to realize the power of the support group. The tough times were getting easier and my stuttering became less of a burden. I wasn’t alone anymore. I still stuttered a lot and still had hard days at work, but knowing that I had friends, who also stuttered and felt what I felt, made all the difference. It was a breath a fresh air.